3.24.2012

Who Knew? Canada's NDP Re-Invents Vote Suppression

Ya gotta hand it to the NDP up here in Canuckistan, they know how to think outside the box. Pundits were puzzled last fall when the NDP brain trust announced a 7 month campaign to determine the next leader. Many outside the loop figured it was because people needed a long time to recover from the grief of losing the un-replaceable Jack Layton to cancer. And to be fair, at that point it probably was in large part.

Next the NDP executive committee announced an unending series of debates, each of which consisted of about a dozen candidates being thrown batting practice type pitches that they responded to almost identically. The TV ratings for the debates were just below 'The Friendly Giant' re-runs and usually on at about the same time of day here on the left coast. Throughout the 7 month run-up to today's convention in the center of the universe-TO-the dozen candidates each sent countless emails to every NDP member coast to coast to coast updating them on their totally un-unique positions on the most uncontroversial issues of our time.

Sooner or later even the most long time NDP supporters/members became so annoyed with the barrage in their inboxes they blocked all of their addresses. But on the months and the campaign rolled. Why asked the media pundits was this happening? Who cares was the apathetic answer of Canadians. But there was a method to the NDP madness and now The Mud Report has figured it out.

See the NDP  brain trust was feeling left out. Harpo and his troops had stolen the last election by sending opponents to the wrong polling stations, the best voter suppression tactic yet up here. And Moneybags Mitt Romney was mudslinging his way to victory stateside by annoying so many folks that only his supporters showed up to vote. The NDP had to do something, but who knew they'd miss the point of voter suppression and instead of rying to suppress their opponents turnout they'd just go for it and suppress their own.

Well it worked great. Less than 50% of the eligible voters bothered to vote and just to make sure they completed the job [so supporters wouldn't even want to vote for them in the future] today the computer voting system they picked has crashed so many times that the really important stuff, Hockey Night in Canada, may preempt the eventual winner's acceptance speech. So in recognition of their outstanding re-invention of the whole concept of voter suppression tactics The Mud Report is awarding the NDP executive council a copy of the book pictured above.