The Solution to America's Gun Problems: Re-Brand the NRA into the National Retriever Association

The heartwarming pictures and stories about how therapy dogs - professional comforters - were brought to Newtown, Connecticut, almost immediately after the horrific shootings on December 14 offer a real solution to the fears so often manifested within America's gun culture. The K-9 Comfort Dog Ministry of Illinois has nine Golden Retrievers in Newtown to help comfort community residents in need. The comfort these most perfect therapists are obviously providing every person of every age is a testimony to the healing power of our best friends.

Not surprisingly, the spin doctors of fear at the National Rifle Association are proposing armed guards in every American school as their solution. Leaving aside the absurd logic of 'more guns being the solution to gun violence' because...well its absurd except to fear riddled gun-nuts, there's also the fact that it would  bankrupt already cash starved governments and taxpayers and be useless at best.

Combining parts of these two seemingly disparate stories could result in a re-branding of the NRA into the 'National Retriever Association'. Imagine if stationed in every classroom in every school in America was a genuine 4 legged therapist who's job it was to give and receive unconditional love from the kids who will inevitably grow up into America's future citizens. Now there's a real long term solution to the problems associated with America's gun culture.

This solution, dog food and vet bills included, would cost far less and provide more security both in the present and in the future for my fellow Americans. Therapy dogs could easily be trained to sniff out weapons and warn teachers long before a weapon wielding maniac came close. Besides nurturing emotional growth and providing comfort, dogs bark warnings instinctively, dogs protect their family, dogs, unlike electronic screening devices, don't stop doing their job when the power gets cutoff or the maniac comes through a window instead of a door..

Dogs could provide advanced warning of the emotional distresses that build into the kind of senseless slaughter of innocent kids like the slaughter in Newtown we're all so in shock over. About the only characteristic that psychologists agree on as a common denominator among future mass murders is the past mis-treatment of animals. So therapy dogs in every classroom could also provide an opportunity to see inside the minds of those potentially deranged future killers and allow them to be treated far in advance.

"More kisses, more pets, more un-conditional love are the solution America needs...not more guns"

This message brought to you by the National Retriever Association