5.27.2012

My Outlaw Retirement Plan Includes a Free Lunch at the Hard Luck Cafe


Imagine a retirement home that fits any budget, where the weather is warm and sunny almost every day of the year, where there's a roof over your head, where new and old friends who share your views move in almost every day, where transportation [one way] is provided, where there's lottsa dogs hanging around and where you get 3 free meals a day including lunch at the local Hard Luck Cafe. Who could ask for more?

Been reading about how our governments here in the US and Canuckistan are building these places for us malcontents all across North Amerika. They're often called FEMA Concentration Camps by the conspiracy whackos. The whackos just don't seem to get it, they protest our Dear Leaders' attempts to secure our retirements in the courts with challenges to their "God" given right to pass laws like the NDAA in Amerika and C-10 in The Great White North. Luckily though our courts in North Amerika are owned and operated by the banks and corporations so our future abodes are secure.

The only big real problem seemed to be how to guarantee myself a room in one of these facilities. But fortunately today the answer arrived in an email from an old friend [and maybe future neighbor]. If you too are looking for a retirement living option that fits your post-foreclosure financial profile here's the secret. Big Brother is' monitering' your every email and phone call, thank gord, and it has a list of hundreds of words that they consider subversive.

So it's simple, all we've got to do to get a ticket to a retirement home is give a buncha folks a call or an email with enough of those wonderful words in 'em and voila, they'll arrive at your door with your ticket. Another smaller problem seemed to be how to guarantee a room where the climate is right, the Caribbean's nice, apparently there's one in Cuba set aside for the folks our Dear Leaders are REALLY worried about. So my plan is to write a Mud Report that somehow uses every damned one of those forbidden hundreds of words then publish it as soon as the time's right. See ya in Gitmo!