'HE' is coming, and it's sooner than you think.

What wonderful news, not just any old news, its guaranteed to be 100% right by the Bible. A national radio group says the end of the world is coming, and it's sooner than most would think. They've erected billboards in the Nashville that clearly announce the second coming of Jesus will happen on Saturday, May 21, 2011, just over 4 months.

My thanks to Family Radio, a national Christian group that has put up the billboards throughout Nashville and a host of other cities proclaiming the upcoming Rapture, for the 'good news'. Imagine my delight when i realized i wouldn't have to shovel and haul all that horseshit over to the garden, wouldn't have to turn it into the beds and planters, wouldn't have to expand the little front bed for more finger potatoes, wouldn't have figure out this year's crop rotation, none of it.

This is 'good news', i imagine today will see millions of people making reservations for Las Vegas, millions more going out and leasing that Hummer they've had an eye on. The malls will be overflowing too, what the hell good is money gonna do ya on May 12th? Might as well max out your the credit card-if it isn't already, might as well party like a Russian.

"WE ARE ALMOST THERE! exults their website. Guaranteed, WOW, i'm going all in, to hell with fixing my van's broken window, the plastic on it will last 'til mid-may easy. No sense in trying to catch the damned mice in my floorboards anymore, they only got a few more months too. Gonna cash in my investments, gonna donate all my dough to the church so i can get a luxury box up in Heaven. After all we're talking the Bible here. How could they, the self-anointed spokes-persons of 'HIM', ever be wrong about the end of the world?